I have stories to tell: Our Honeymoon Day 1

I like to tell stories. Most of the people who know me know that. My family is a story telling family, so I get it honestly. For posterity's sake I want to write down some of my stories now before I forget them. I'm not old, but I see my memories fading some into the past, so I want to write some of them here.

The first is one of my favorite stories. The first day of our honeymoon ended up being something we were not expecting at all and it was the most memorable part of our honeymoon by far.

On June 5 of 2009, I married the love of my life. We saved a little bit of money leading up to the wedding for a honeymoon in St. Lucia because we heard it was the Hawai'i of the Caribbean and it is a lot cheaper than going to Hawai'i. St. Lucia did not disappoint with it's beautiful beaches, interesting culture and food, banana plantations, active volcanoes, the all inclusive resort, and the company wasn't too bad either. It's ironic considering all of those things that the most memorable thing that happened on our honeymoon involved a man we met on the airplane on the way to St. Lucia.

Megan and me at the Atlanta airport Jun 7, 2009

We left Atlanta really early in the morning to catch a mid morning flight in Miami to St. Lucia's airport from there. On the plane from Miami I was next to the window and Megan was in the middle in between me and a man who we would later learn was named Tom. Most of the flight we didn't talk to Tom. Megan and I watched the inflight movie and talked to each other, but when we were about an hour from landing in St. Lucia, Tom asked Megan about the movie and we started a conversation with Tom. Tom asked about what we did for a living and promised a donation to Megan's high school band when we all got home. He told us that he worked in the tent business and put up big tents for events like Inaugurations and stuff like that. At this point Tom's story started to seem a little farfetched. He said he had been on archaeological digs in Easter Island and China and recounted stories of fantastic adventures with the nonchalance of someone who did that kind of thing every day. Now we were thinking "ok, maybe this guy is crazy" because the tent business doesn't seem like a particularly lucrative one and Tom, the person in front of us, didn't seem as adventurous as his tales would suggest.

The next story Tom told us was one that made us really believe he was crazy or at least making up a story to impress us. He said that his reason for traveling to St. Lucia was to visit with the Archbishop of St. Lucia (actually the Archbishop of three islands including St. Lucia). He said that years ago he and his wife had gone to a mass that the current Archbishop had given (he wasn't in that position at the time) and that the Archbishop had said that the biggest thing he missed being in full time ministry was the extra money to do things like go out to eat or buy a little something in the market. In response to that, Tom and his wife had been sending the Archbishop what they called "an allowance" every month. He said they just sent him what they could every month and in the meantime the Archbishop had started to call Tom and his wife "mom and dad".

At this point we kind of pulled back thinking we were hearing some tall tales, but Tom pressed on and asked where we were staying. We told him and he said that was very close to where they would be on his stay and asked if we would like a ride to our resort when we got there. We said that wasn't necessary and that we were planning to rent a car when we got there. Tom told us that he would see what kind of car they had, and if there was room, he would see if the Archbishop would give us a ride. We kind of nodded and grinned and said thanks, but in our heads we were really saying "ok, crazy guy, thanks for the offer."

By this time we were about to land and we all went on to securing our things, getting our tray tables in their proper positions and preparing for landing. When the plane landed Tom disappeared in the crowd going through customs and baggage claim and we didn't really miss him. We went on as we had planned, and got in line to rent a car.

In St. Lucia, as I'm sure most places abroad, you have to get a short term driver's license to rent a car because your driver's license isn't good there, obviously. I was going to be the one driving because we didn't want to pay for two driver's licenses, so we started that process first. They had my license and were scanning it. I had paid for the temporary license when Tom came up and tapped me on the shoulder and said "have you already done this? Would you like to ride with us?"

Megan and I turned around and there was Tom standing with this mountain of a man in a priest's robe. He was probably 6'5" and 350 pounds. Big guy. Tom asked the lady at the desk of the rental car place if it was too late to cancel the transaction. She said that yes it was. Tom asked her if she could make an exception for the Archbishop because it was his birthday. The lady seemed to know that it was the Archbishop's birthday and said she could cancel the car, but not the temporary license because it was already run through the government system. Everyone agreed that this was acceptable.

Tom introduced us to the Archbishop and his driver. The Archbishop was a very friendly man. He seemed genuinely good hearted and he welcomed us to the island and offered for us to ride with him their little SUV.

Megan and I sat in the back seat with the Archbishop (remember, 6'5" 350lbs), so it was a pretty tight squeeze and Tom (dad) sat in the front seat. The driver drove us all over the island as the Archbishop told us about the work they were doing, the school they had started and the history of the island. We drove to their school and got out and looked around there. The school is on the top of a mountain and has beautiful views. Education isn't exactly what you would call stellar in St. Lucia because it is a pretty poor population outside of the resorts so they were especially proud of the school because it was offering a quality education to a lot of children who would not normally have that opportunity.

As we left the school, headed for our resort, the Archbishop invited us to their Corpus Christi ceremonies that would be held on Thursday, June 11. We told him that we would definitely come and we would try to say hello to him when we did.

When we got to the resort, we thanked them all profusely for their hospitality and generosity and for the tour of the island and we got out of the car to start our honeymoon saying "What in the world just happened?"

It was definitely the most interesting part of our honeymoon and the irony of it coming before we thought the vacation would even start still amuses me.

We did end up going to the Corpus Christi ceremony that week, but it ended up being impossible for us to talk to the Archbishop again because he was busy with the ceremony and the parade and our driver was picking us up at a time that made it prohibitive for us to wait to say hello.

Us in front of the church after the Corpus Christi ceremony

Stay tuned for more stories in the future because I have stories to tell.

Babies Get Lint Between Their Fingers

When you're having a baby, there is an unimaginable amount of information that will fly your way. There are websites, books, magazines, and people who have already had children who will flood you with so much information that it is impossible to take it all in. This is my list of things that nobody told me about babies and parenting a newborn, from the trivial to the paramount. (I'm only two and a half months in, so this is by no means a complete list)

1. Babies get lint between their fingers. You're probably thinking, "so what?", but it's weird. I'll clean the lint out from between her fingers and ten minutes later there will be more lint. I don't even know where she finds it. She has to be hoarding it for some plot to take over world or something. As soon as I figure out what she has planned for it, I'll let you know.

(Dadvice: Take that lint away. She doesn't need it for anything. And if there is a plan afoot, it's probably not a good one.)


2. A baby's smile will make you smile in a way that you didn't even know was possible. She doesn't even fully understand a smile yet, but her babbling and smiling will make you laugh and you won't know why. An adult acting that way would be strange and we would think that adult was crazy, but on a baby it just works. It can be the middle of the night and she can make us laugh with her noises and smiles and that doesn't make sense.

(Dadvice: Treasure those moments and remember them for #3)


3. Even though you love that baby, she will make you want to pull your ears off when you can't get her to stop crying. She can't help it, but she will push you to your boiling point because she will be crying so loud and so long that you can't believe she is still crying. It will blow your mind how loud it is and there will be nothing you can do to comfort her.

(Dadvice: Get a pair of industrial ear muffs. I have a pair for working in my wood shop. They won't completely drown out the crying, but they will take the edge off, while protecting your hearing in the process.)


4: When you have a baby, you will start to think about certain things differently.

The biggest example for me would be when I get a text message while I'm driving. My thought process used to go something like this:

"Oh, a text, who is it?"

Looks around to make sure there aren't any police officers around and that it is a safe enough place to answer the text message.

Answers the text message.


Now, my thought process goes something like this:

"Oh, a text, who is it?"

"If I get in a wreck because I'm checking a text message, I might die."

"If I die, who will take care of my wife and child?"

"If I die, does my wife know what to do with the finances?"

"How would she afford to pay the mortgage and for food and to raise the baby?"

"I'll answer that when I stop."


There are myriad other things I think about differently now. Sure, they tell you that your priorities change, but they don't really tell you what that means. In my life it means not answering that text until I've reached my destination, or at least until I've stopped at a traffic light.

(Dadvice: Don't text and drive. Or check your email and drive. Or browse the internet and drive. Or play Angry Birds and drive. There are more people relying on you than just you now.)


5. Babies get bored and the things that make them not bored are mind numbingly boring. Last night I swung a white blanket in front of my daughter's bassinet for fifteen minutes while she stared, utterly entranced by a small white blanket waving back and forth. I don't get it, but things like this are entertaining for the baby, and the things is, those kinds of things reduce number 3, so they are totally worth it.

(Dadvice: Make it interesting for you too. If your child likes a blanket waved in front of her, use the other hand to try to capture the wonder in her face with your camera or take a video to send to your baby's grandparents [They'll love it, trust me]. If she wants to lay in your arms and stare at a light bulb while you walk back and forth under it. Put the game on and stare at your light bulb while she stares at hers. Practice guitar in front of her and you'll both benefit from it. Her from watching the movement and hearing the music, you from the extra practice.)


That's it for now. I'm sure there are more things that I will learn that nobody has force fed me through this process, but for now I'm just trying to enjoy it. I think this being a dad thing is going to work out.

Until next time. And in the mean time, keep those fingers lint free.

What's going through your head?

I've always been a person who is comforted by rationality. That's just me. I reason things out in my head. I plan things to smallest detail so that I know how they will go when they actually happen. I'm good at a lot of things because of that character trait. I think things through and they turn out pretty well. It's helped me in my job and in my hobbies. It's been valuable in a lot of situations for me, but do you know what that doesn't work on?

...

Children.

Children are the ultimate example of irrationality.

My wife makes fun of me for trying to reason with our two month old. She doesn't understand the words coming out of my mouth, but that doesn't stop me from trying to talk her through it.

"Don't worry, we're not going to let you starve to death."

"You are upset because you are tired. Do you know what will fix that? Just go to sleep."

"Do you think screaming is really going to help this situation?"

(Those are all things I have actually said...to a two month old.)

I know that talking to a baby like she can understand and reason like I do doesn't make a ton of sense. I know that she can't comprehend what I'm saying, so it's not like I am really trying to reason with her.

This is a person who, one time, pooped in her diaper, reached around with her hand and grabbed some of it and smeared it on my chest. I still love her, but it's not a rational human being we are dealing with. I know that but I still look down into those eyes sometimes and wonder "What are you thinking?".

There is a flipside to that coin, however. This little baby can be amused by the smallest, most insignificant things. She will stare in wonder at a lightbulb like I might look at picture of a beautiful landscape. She will smile the biggest smile and laugh at things like her lips being lightly squeezed between your finger and thumb. She will smile at just my face when she first sees me in the morning. None of that makes any rational sense (well, maybe looking at my face; I am pretty good looking), but she is delighted by the smallest things sometimes.

It's not all bad, but it's definitely irrational and I have asked more in the last two months than maybe my entire life combined, "What's going through your head?"