Babies Get Lint Between Their Fingers

When you're having a baby, there is an unimaginable amount of information that will fly your way. There are websites, books, magazines, and people who have already had children who will flood you with so much information that it is impossible to take it all in. This is my list of things that nobody told me about babies and parenting a newborn, from the trivial to the paramount. (I'm only two and a half months in, so this is by no means a complete list)

1. Babies get lint between their fingers. You're probably thinking, "so what?", but it's weird. I'll clean the lint out from between her fingers and ten minutes later there will be more lint. I don't even know where she finds it. She has to be hoarding it for some plot to take over world or something. As soon as I figure out what she has planned for it, I'll let you know.

(Dadvice: Take that lint away. She doesn't need it for anything. And if there is a plan afoot, it's probably not a good one.)


2. A baby's smile will make you smile in a way that you didn't even know was possible. She doesn't even fully understand a smile yet, but her babbling and smiling will make you laugh and you won't know why. An adult acting that way would be strange and we would think that adult was crazy, but on a baby it just works. It can be the middle of the night and she can make us laugh with her noises and smiles and that doesn't make sense.

(Dadvice: Treasure those moments and remember them for #3)


3. Even though you love that baby, she will make you want to pull your ears off when you can't get her to stop crying. She can't help it, but she will push you to your boiling point because she will be crying so loud and so long that you can't believe she is still crying. It will blow your mind how loud it is and there will be nothing you can do to comfort her.

(Dadvice: Get a pair of industrial ear muffs. I have a pair for working in my wood shop. They won't completely drown out the crying, but they will take the edge off, while protecting your hearing in the process.)


4: When you have a baby, you will start to think about certain things differently.

The biggest example for me would be when I get a text message while I'm driving. My thought process used to go something like this:

"Oh, a text, who is it?"

Looks around to make sure there aren't any police officers around and that it is a safe enough place to answer the text message.

Answers the text message.


Now, my thought process goes something like this:

"Oh, a text, who is it?"

"If I get in a wreck because I'm checking a text message, I might die."

"If I die, who will take care of my wife and child?"

"If I die, does my wife know what to do with the finances?"

"How would she afford to pay the mortgage and for food and to raise the baby?"

"I'll answer that when I stop."


There are myriad other things I think about differently now. Sure, they tell you that your priorities change, but they don't really tell you what that means. In my life it means not answering that text until I've reached my destination, or at least until I've stopped at a traffic light.

(Dadvice: Don't text and drive. Or check your email and drive. Or browse the internet and drive. Or play Angry Birds and drive. There are more people relying on you than just you now.)


5. Babies get bored and the things that make them not bored are mind numbingly boring. Last night I swung a white blanket in front of my daughter's bassinet for fifteen minutes while she stared, utterly entranced by a small white blanket waving back and forth. I don't get it, but things like this are entertaining for the baby, and the things is, those kinds of things reduce number 3, so they are totally worth it.

(Dadvice: Make it interesting for you too. If your child likes a blanket waved in front of her, use the other hand to try to capture the wonder in her face with your camera or take a video to send to your baby's grandparents [They'll love it, trust me]. If she wants to lay in your arms and stare at a light bulb while you walk back and forth under it. Put the game on and stare at your light bulb while she stares at hers. Practice guitar in front of her and you'll both benefit from it. Her from watching the movement and hearing the music, you from the extra practice.)


That's it for now. I'm sure there are more things that I will learn that nobody has force fed me through this process, but for now I'm just trying to enjoy it. I think this being a dad thing is going to work out.

Until next time. And in the mean time, keep those fingers lint free.